Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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