those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
