Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
