I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
