Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Still dying that you shit outside
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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