I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize
