I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Drunk is a universal language darling
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
