i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
