false alarm. still invincible.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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