worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
