soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
