Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
