I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
