what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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