note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So much rum. So many feels.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had to cum in my sink.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
