Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
