last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i wish my penis had a tongue
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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