Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
