Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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