bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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