so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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