Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
