was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
