i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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