Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
