I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
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You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
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WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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