Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
