Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
