imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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