I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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