READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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