I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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