At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
