I look better un-naked...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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