Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
