Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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