We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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