I must be too annoying 4 u.
My first STD was from a foam party
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
