I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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