haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
