i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
