Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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