i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I see more hoeing in ur future
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
