i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
