32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
