i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
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It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
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So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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