Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
