Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
