she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
