I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He did a backflip because drugs
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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