I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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