just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
