I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
