So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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