Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
