It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
