Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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