Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
