you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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