Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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