i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
