cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
