i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Are we still banned from the library?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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