I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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