I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
