that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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